Yo yo yo..Spinforth here, extending the warmest of welcomes to this the final Scour ever (..of 2013)! An extra special Christmas come early edition, choc full to the brim with absolutely no Christmas flavoured tunes at all – just how I like to hear them! Yep, that’s right folks, sticking with my Scour traditions and beliefs that festive themed tunes that get played once a year are a waste of HD space, your final Scour of the year is just a plain old simple ‘normal’ Scour…with the exception of Fat Harry‘s genius 27 Secret Santa ideas, for everyone out there as utterly useless at Xmas shopping as me!
Before you start filling your stockings, I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone – Scourees and Scourers alike – for your overwhelming support of ALL things Scour during 2013. Dedicating 30+ hours of my spare time to compile each Scour has without doubt been a mega mission to fit in to my real life world on numerous occasions this year, BUT..it’s been made very worth it by YOU, from the incredible shows of word spreading support shown each and every time. And with that same level of support having been extended out to our Scour Records releases too, 2013 truly has been an incredibly rewarding year, full of numerous dreams come true for both myself and a many of the artists whom my fussy ears have chosen to support. No doubt that none of these dreams would have become reality with YOU..so for that I owe you all my sincerest of thanks. Be on the look out for a tasty Christmas present from a select few Scour Records Stars, hopefully arriving before Xmas, as a scratch back token of our appreciation for your support over the year! Best you get involved following Scour Records SoundCloud to be sure you don’t miss out on your forthcoming treat(s)! 😉
Just one last thing to plug before I leave you all for a much needed 4 week extended break..anyone out and about in Plymouth **THIS SATURDAY** please consider coming to party with us HKPP stylee at Bassfunk presents: The return of Hong Kong Ping Pong! – with support from The Fritz – at The White Rabbit. After my partying there last month with Dutty Moonshine, we’re hoping for another cracker of a night! Please bring YOU!
That’s it from me for 2013 folks. All being well, and assuming I survive the Christmas festivities, we’ll be back with Scour #98 on January 9th 2014. until then here’s me wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a party filled New Year. Now switching over to F’arry to introduce his Secret Santa tips, oh..and a 25 100% FREE tune deep Scour!
Scour lover thumbers at the ready, aaaaand…
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If you have a tune that you would like considered for support via a forthcoming Scour, please email to: email@example.com, or send in a private message to my Spinforth Fan Page.
….Oh the weather outside is frightful, and the fire is so delightf..OW! Sorry, I forgot Spinforth doesn’t really do festivities. He scowls at Easter bunnies, wipes his bogies on Halloween’s trousers and flicks a solid grinch-green V sign in Christmas’ face. He has ‘Bah Humbug’ tattooed on his knuckles and ‘Dog 4 Life (not just for Xmas)’ tattooed across his abdomen in a gothic font prison yard styleeeee. Well screw him! We’ll have our own little Secret Santa soiree in the blurbs. It may even help you with your last minute Christmas gift ideas. Come, sit on my knee and tell me what you want, and please …if you get so excited you let out a bit of wee, that’s all good.
Kicking off the non-festive festivities are the amazing orgazmatrons, All Good Funk Alliance. This remix of Maze’s Travelin’ Man makes me feel like i’m a big cat stalking my prey, judging the correct time to pounce and claim my prize. It’s like sex music, only sexier. Secret Santa: Sex Panther 86bpm ▼
Northern pin-up The Fritz is in the house! More northern and hard than going out in only a T-shirt in December with a packet of tabs rolled into one sleeve, more northern and mysterious than Sean Bean always dying in the first scene, more northern and off his teets than a Wigan casino full of soul boys. He loves his ferrets, he fancies his pigeons but above all else, he loves his soul. Secret Santa: Ferret Beret 90bpm ▼
If I was employed as the manager of the Titty Twister from Dusk till Dawn, i’d kick out all the vampires, kill the band (not really kill, I just wouldn’t book them again – easier, less prisony) and book Nickodemus as my resident DJ. I’d keep the titties and the twisting and of course Cheech the doorman and we’d all carouse to tunes like this every night. In fact I might even keep the vampires, hang on! I could set the vampires on to the band! I’m a genius. Aye Carumba! Secret Santa: Tequila Guns 92bpm ▼
Our cockles are warmed and our hearts are filled with gout (in a good way) to once again welcome Scour Records’ Scoured Cream Vol.02 legend Buck Rogers to your discerning ears and your quivering breasts. He’s been busy swashbuckling, goosebobbling and hornswaggling his way across the high seas, he wrote this little ditty whilst becalmed in the azores, which sounds right painful. Keep an eye out for a future EP. Tunes possibly called ‘The Rickets’, ‘The Scabies’ and ‘The Malaria’. Secret Santa: Oranges 95bpm ▼
SCOUR #97 EXCLUSIVE: Arrrrrr yeah party people! More pirates? Nooooo! Scourgins™ Second Hand Audio cracking out the super dope! Ozomatli, Chali 2na and SHA – A more potent brew of win I can’t imagine, at least until Skippy, Flipper and Lassie form a Burlesque polka trio and start touring. Until then we’ve got Second Hand Audio to fill the void. What’s that Second Hand Audio? Spinforth’s stuck in a well? He’s broken his legs and arms? You want me to call for help? But not until we’ve danced the cha cha cha in heavy make up, a corset and a tutu? Alrighty then! Click on the following text to grab your very kindly donated..>>SCOUR EXCLUSIVE DOWNLOAD LINK RIGHT HERE<< Secret Santa: Second Hand Sanitizer! 98bpm ▼
Dj Evans (sounds legit) Bangs hard! He’s a cracker! Wicked mash of Benzino over See-I, I watched a Snoop documentary last night followed by Louis Theroux in Fresno so I now consider myself to be one hundred and fiddy percent full gangster. Alright? Actually I’m a rubbish gangster, I went through all of school without so much as a telling off, let alone a detention….even the gangster name generator calls me ‘Rotten Pee Hands’. That’s Pee with an ‘e’! Secret Santa: Breaking bath! 101bpm ▼
Robster Dobster the laser monster is back! We love Bobby and all who sail in him. Wicked Laserfication of Lavern Baker’s Tweedle Dee. Someone from Disney should buy Bobby up, he’d knock out the score to Mary Poppins 2 (Rise of the Machines) quick smart! Secret Santa: Frickin psychedelic Laser Beams! 102bpm ▼
Psymbionic (welcome to The Scour!) does a funky Frampton! It’s a bizarre and dreadful back story but I once found myself at a Frampton gig a few years ago when he was playing at a private party for timeshare salesmen in Orlando. 3,000 people in the room and I think there was just me and Frampton and his band utterly bemused by his presence there. I was so poor and so far away from home, I’d spent 3 days living on vending machine hot dogs, so I was busy at the buffet loading every pocket and filling my socks with chicken nuggets and vol-au-vants whilst Frampton cracked out the vocoder and played ‘Show Me The Way’ and for a four wonderful minutes, we were both utterly content. I love that man. Secret Santa: Wrecking Ball! 104bpm ▼
Beat Fatigue is one of our new favourite things! We love him, we love that he’s from Amsterdam and actually has time to make awesome music. If we’re honest, if we were in Amsterdam, making awesome music would be fourth on the list of things to do, and one of those things would be to go say hello to Roy Bang N Mash! (Slim Goodgroove’s stunt double) Secret Santa: Favourite things one! / Favourite things two! / Favourite things three! 105bpm ▼
SkiiTour are so hot right now! Who can blame them in those suits! These ultra lovely gentlemen and super party animals are fast becoming the homegrown darlings of Shambhala. Join their soundcloud page now if you haven’t already, they have it all, the production, the mixtapes, the ski suits, the hair and the very generous balls
Secret Santa: Joyeux Noel Edmunds! 105bpm ▼
Count Roberti de Bobberti is back! he’s a black belt laser lothario! Now where the hell did I leave my virginity…it’s here somewhere.. :rummages through the crotchless underwear drawer: :looks under the brooding nest of sacrificial hens: :swishes a net through the shark tank:…. Wait a cotton pickin’ minute! Bobby! You’ve stolen it! Other than sheer shock and awe, I didn’t feel a thing! N’Awwwww, I feel like Mongo loving Sheriff Bart! Secret Santa: Look Like Super Bobby! 106bpm ▼
Borrowing the lasers from Bobby (you’ll get them back Bob!) Australian heartthrob Athson (..welcome to The Scour sir!) remixes Spenda C & Zuri Akoko. A right tasty ‘pella over Aliens, mid tempo breaks, moonwalking and Lasers. What’s not to like? Secret Santa: Better than Bacon Tee! 106bpm ▼
It’s r eally hard to type whils t whilst bogle-ing a round the kitchen. I’d better sit down before I burn my ass on the stove. Followers of The Scour will know of my deep seated love of bogle-ing, I used to do it to Morphosis on the radio every week, whilst he pretended to be repulsed to the point of vomitting he honestly loved it, you can’t keep the lid on a good bogle. As part of the secret santa for this edit from DJ Jimmy Love (welcome to The Scour Jimmy!) I tried to look for Bogle lessons to no avail, I found something possibly better though! Secret Santa: Not Bogle Lessons! 106bpm ▼
If Funky Breaks ever went to war, BadboE would be put in charge of all the explosives. Because he’s a funky bomb making machine? No! I mean, yes! he is a funky bomb making machine, but No! He’d be put in charge of the explosives because he’s a mentalist fun-lovin’ viking who would care not one jot if he blew off a couple of fingers whilst making the deadliest 200% proof party cocktails and drinking you under the table! That is exactly the kind of man we want in charge of the bombs! Oh, and check this out: Pump Up The Funk (remixed) **OUT TODAY** Secret Santa: BadboE’s ear! 106bpm ▼
Keeping his powder dry is Jayl Funk, remixing Tony Camillo’s Bazuka. I must be getting old as I used to play the original in my sets. Jayl does a superbad job in giving it a twist and making it relevant all over again. Love that man and his very many balls. Secret Santa: Boom! 108bpm ▼
We’ve had a few quality versions of Steely Dan’s Peg appear in The Scour over the years, this latest from Dj Twister is no exception. It’s such a tune in its own right but also highlights the value of a bloody good mashup, a la De La Soul’s Eye Know. I remember a drummer mate playing me Steely Dan for the first time and falling in love with it. I rushed out to Woolworths the next day and grabbed their greatest hits. Only I’d purchased Steeleye Span by accident, which was quite the gut punch when I got that bad boy home! Secret Santa: The Shocker! 116bpm ▼
Don’t make me! You know I get all florid and top heavy when it comes to describing a Skeewiff track! I’m no young buck anymore, I can’t keep cracking these blurbs off at the wrist like it ain’t nothin’! I need a fluffer! Skeewiff is the sound of your cigarette boat covering the great and good in a spume of Monaco Harbour juice as you screech up to your mooring, everyone laughs and you high five as you drink champagne and climb into your e-type to drive to your Schloss in Switzerland as your butler compliments your tight pecs and hands you the sharpest, starchiest black tie suit, presenting you with the household accounts and – wow, you own Peru! – you fly to Rome in your liveried helicopter but get attacked on the way by a swarm of microlights flying out of that open volcano…”wait a minute”, you say “that’s no volcano!” before abseiling into the underground lair and taking out all the henchmen, killing Dr Evil, but saving the cat, disarming the nuclear warhead and sleeping with the Russian Oligarch’s daughter. And when I say sleeping, I mean staying very awake. THAT is the sound of Skeewiff. DOWNLOAD LINK AVAILABLE ON SOUNDCLOUD Secret Santa: Let him leave the island, then kill him! 118bpm ▼
Welcome to The Scour Morris Chestnut! Best name of the night! Hopefully they’re not roasting on an open fire – Spinforth wouldn’t approve of such frivolities! Chestnuts roasting or no, we love what you’ve done with Black Betty and her lambs of ram! Excelente! Secret Santa: Baaargin! 120bpm ▼
It’s exploding pants o’clock! Put rubber bands around all your hems, glue your zippers together and gaffa tape your knickers in place or be prepared to lose your garments as they disintegrate in fits of wobbly-swinging mass rapture. Keep away from airing cupboards and sock drawers in case of secondary explosions. The Jenova Collective, they’re sexy and sneaky blighters! Secret Santa: Pantalonic irrigation! 122bpm ▼
Lost in Michael Jackson’s woodland estate young Father Funk was a happy soul, breast fed and reared by a family of disco Llamas, he’d canter hither and tither to his heart’s content, chewing on the lush grass and shrubs planted way back in the Motown days….until the day the bulldozers arrived to clear the estate and mine the fabled Tree of Soul. Outraged, the Llamas quickly militarised and FF found himself leading the Llama army against the machines. Sadly for FF and the Llamas, they were trained in combat by Bubbles, Michael Jackson’s favourite monkey and could only offer thrown semen and faeces against their metal foe and it was over as soon as it began. But as is the way with super heroes, FF didn’t die. He was spirited away and placed in a montage, where over the proceeding years he grew strong, running along beaches and up and down steps to Bill Conti’s Theme from Rocky… Secret Santa: Pappa Llama! 125bpm ▼
Welcome to The Scour Friskie Business! My my, what big breaks you have! …If that sounds like the start of a dodgy porn movie then I make no apologies – i’m in love with this filthiness! In my minds eye, little miss innocent red riding hood is delicately tasting three bowls of porridge as Ron Jeremy bear crashes in through the front door a-huffing and a-puffing through his perfect porn moustache and a-threatening to blow the house down, whilst the three little pigs run through the scene and scold Ron Jeremy bear for being in the wrong porn nursery rhyme. Hands off babe station! I thought of it first! Secret Santa: Too Salty! 128bpm ▼
Ha! This remix is the work of a sheer genius. Flavours has a way with the bass, why bother defining him? We love his production and whilst this might not be to everyone’s taste, it tickles our testicles and makes them smile, which is a good thing we reckon. Happy balls are healthy balls! Secret Santa: Frikkin sharks with Frikkin Laser beams! 78/156bpm ▼
F-Block swings out Koop’s Come To Me, I just LOVE Yukimi Nagno’s vocals, she melted my black heart when she sang ’Summer Sun’. F-Block unleashes the unicorns and glitter and fills hearts and minds with sexy happy happy. And for that reason we give him our highest accolade of two thumbs x Secret Santa: Slip into the rainbows! 180bpm ▼
I sooooo meant to pull my finger out and buy A Color Map of the Sun – Double CD when it was released, I loved the documentary on how it was made – much respect due. You know we love Opiuo, we’ll even get to see him play live one day. (We’ve been so close on multiple occasions!) So, Opiuo remixing Pretty Lights is a fitting way to bring another year’s worth of Scouring to a musical climax. We thank you for your continued support and love and of course your thumbs and your amazing balls. Secret Santa: Overground Lair! 90bpm ▼
…Just time for the vinegar stroke! Or, as it’s more popularly known, the Curveball. Dj Prime reworks Bobby Patterson, keeping it simple and rare – which is great news for us as we get to sign out of 2013 with a slab of stone cold funk. Just how we like it. Hope you found the secret santa’s helpful, to be honest I don’t like being Santa as much as I thought I would….i’m covered in multi man pee and it’s starting to sting my eyes and attract badgers! I’m off for a wash – see you next year Scourers! Secret Santa: Old School! 100bpm ▼
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