Spinforth’s Weekly SoundCloud Scour 15/09/11

Fat Harry – Babe Magnet

I’m an animal lover. Not in a hardcore way, I really don’t have the genetic coding to get militant over anything. I could watch a Rambo film kill count without a care in the world but put an un-well animal in a movie and I’ll feel my top lip tremble. I nearly lost it when the dog gets shot in Turner and Hooch. Even during my most hedonistic years Rolf Harris’s Animal hospital was always essential viewing.

I know that’s not too weird, most people have an affinity with animals, what is weird is that animals seem to share this affinity with me. It used to be funny, a freaky coincidence but I clearly bring out the inner gay in dogs, I make cats wet, and horses hard and none of those statements are even made up for comedy effect. I used to run a golf resort, there was a horse on the grounds – let’s call him Simon – I’d drive around the resort on my funky scooter and Simon lived at the perfect place for a cheeky fag break. I’d park up, lean on Simon’s fence and watch him get an erection whilst I smoked, there were no triggers, he never used to come rushing over at the sound of my zippo, I never bought him sugar lumps or carrots, nor would I dress provocatively. He’d just get very turned on in my presence, the big gay horse.

I had a cat that would wait, I mean eagerly wait, for me to get into bed so it could jump up and start suckling on my earlobe. That’s not normal is it? I’ve lost count of the amount of dogs who’ve jumped my leg, I was in our local record shop the other day and the lady owner had bought her big black Labrador in, as she was saying from behind the counter “He’s lovely, no bother at all” I’m desperately trying to break his stranglehold on my leg. She looked horrified when she eventually saw what he was doing, saying “He’s has NEVER done that before!” with undertones of it being my fault. Haven’t been in there for a while.

I used to drink in a bar owned by a lady with a beautiful cocker spaniel (not a euphemism). As – Let’s call the dog Suzy – sat by the door you couldn’t help but make a fuss of her when you arrived. It got to the point where Suzy would see me about to enter the bar, jump up onto the reception counter and throw herself onto her back with her legs all akimbo and bark until I’d tickled her bits, when it got to the point that Suzy would do the same on the pool table whilst we were playing pool my mates started choosing different bars, as two shots carry, one on the black and a tickle of dog nipple, mind the wet patch never appeared in any form of the International Pool Tour 8-Ball rules.

It does have fringe benefits. Morphosis, my brother, another friend and I went underwater caving a few years back and after a short trek to the caves the guide was handing out headgear, saying something like “Remember to keep the batteries out of the water when it gets above head height or you’ll electrocute yourselves oh and watch out for the really big spiders” I was feeling pretty strongly that underwater caving wasn’t for me, until I got covered in a swarm of fat gay bees crawling around my person in general and my crotch in particular. I very quickly found my hidden Bear Grylls gene and may or may not have led the charge to the caves shouting “Come on you f*@kers, let’s go caving!”

I’m wondering if some wasps are gay. I’m not a big fan of wasps. Morph can attest to trying to give me my wristband at last year’s Aeon Festival whilst I was doing laps around the production office screaming like a big girl’s blouse being chased by a vajazzle of wasps (for it is their collective noun, Gaggle of Geese, Flock of Seagulls, Vajazzle of Wasps) It would explain why they always pick me out as the one to hang out with in any given group of people. I don’t buy into this ‘they can smell fear’ business, if that were true they wouldn’t come to me first, I’m not fearing them UNTIL they arrive on the scene, it’s only then that the running and high pitch screaming begins, so gay wasps make much more sense, especially with me being a ginge.
Sadly for me the list goes on, spider seduction, rat attraction, the Rottweiler affair…but happily for you I’m running out of time!

Hope you enjoy this week’s selection of tunes, remember to leave your comments and/or ‘s on anything you like – it means so much to the cloud owners.

Couple of heads ups, noticed this week that the Resense collection is being released digitally on JunoDownload . First batch is released this week with more to follow in the coming weeks, wave goodbye to those dodgy vinyl rips, say hello to the sexy wavs >>HERE<<

And a proper right gang of ne’er do wells are on the new Booty Fruits EP, which was digitally released exclusively to JunoDownload this week and might be worthy of your attention >>HERE<<.

Spinforth should be back with you next week (..apparently he did have a tiny bit of fun at Bestival after all!), thanks for having me.

Love your balls..
Fat Harry x

If you have a tune that you’d like considered for support in forthcoming Scours, please email me at: spinforth@ghettofunk.co.uk

First up is a beauty mash from the musical genius that is Blend Mishkin, his balls are always sparkly! Not only does he put out (snigger) a prolific amount of quality tunes, he’s also coming to Fal’ Town next month, to party with us at HKPP on the 21st Oct, and I believe he’s back down again on 27th October to party Qbar stylee with our good friend Selecta Demo – treats! 96bpm
Mr Mention – Smoke & Skank Mash by Blend Mishkin

Neon Steve recently did a re-rub of Dr, Dre and Snoop – Next Episode (check it >>HERE<<), which quickly became a Ping Pong favourite, check out this excellent glitchy rework by Flavours, he’s definately worth following (on soundcloud….not through the streets) Alternative download link available in track description. 97bpm
2nd From Last Episode (Next Episode Bootleg) 320 Download in Description by Flavours

During my scour I saw that good taste merchant and all round nugget digger Philly Blunt had commented on this particular track – i’m not exactly stalking him (stalking means i’m fully naked when I click him, right?) but this mash from Strbalazs had me wanging around the front room wearing a snorkel , flippers and a big grin. Enjoy. 101bpm
Bambino & Jus Bus vs. Cypress Hill – Caribbean Lowrider (strbalazs mash-up) by Bali (strbalazs)

Bastard Jazz have been putting out quality music for years, have a listen to this teaser from Captain Planet’s Cookin’ Gumbo LP (which you can purchase >>HERE<<) Bossa! Nova!101bpm
Captain Planet feat. Brit Lauren – Get You Some by bastardjazz

DJ Moar chops up The Crusaders Streetlife, and adds a bit of ODB. Simple and completely wonderful.104bpm
ODB vs CRUSADERS – Got Your Money (Dj Moar Remix) FREE 320kpbs by Dj Moar

Mid tempo rolling bass wobble from Saeg Selecta, so good that the only thing it could possibly need is a Mr Oizo style puppet. 105bpm
Saeg Selecta-Thunder Boy feat. SoomT (FREE DOWNLOAD) by DJ Sáeg

Proper top bananas from soundcloud legend and rising Scour star DJ Daigo. Reckon you’ll all enjoy this Pepe Deluxe mash, topless massage to anyone who can tell us what SUAT AKSÜZEK means. 106bpm
Pepe Deluxe vs Greg Nice – Before The Commotion (Daigo Re-Bake) by dj Daigo

Next tune, courtesy of Samplez, is not only jumpin’, it also carries the tag lines ‘Assbandit’, ‘Rimjob’ and ‘Chlamydia’ so becomes an automatic shoe in to my scour pick. 109bpm
I Can’t Get Next To You FREE 320 DL by Samplez.

King of the re-fixes (and the best placed stickers in the world!) DJP has dropped another dancefloor bomb. This one (oh..aaand this one) are both way too good for him to give away directly via a SoundCloud download, but..they are still very available, completely free (along with accompanying videos) just by heading over to his facebook page and giving him your fondest ‘like’ right >>HERE<< RIGHT NOW!!. Loads and loads of other awesome freebies to be found over there..go get involved! 110bpm
Dizzee Rascal – Fix Up, Look Sharp (DJP’s Want You Back Refix) by scratchabit

It’s not my fault Bobby C Sound TV keeps throwing out amazing tunes for free! I’m a calm and reserved fella but if Bobby was sat next to me right now I’d rip my shirt off, thrust a sharpie into his hand and demand that he signed my tits. 112bpm
PONDER THING by Bobby C Sound TV

Ladies Love, and long shoed friend of HKPP, DJ Chamber cranks out a beauty Re-Edit of A-Punk’s Vampire weekend and I love it…just as much as I love Johnny Pluse’s version. Dive in. 88bpm
Vampire Weekend – A-Punk (DJ Chamber Re-Edit) FREE DOWNLOAD by DJ Chamber

Aaaaand finally, this week’s curveball…I just love it! 140bpm
Bittersweet Synthphony (Tantric Decks & K3V Remix) [FREE DOWNLOAD] by Breakz R Boss Records

Scour archives >> #01 | #02 | #03 | #04 | #05 | #06 | #07 | #08 | #09 | #10 | #11 | #12 | #13 | #14 | #15 | #16 | #17 | #18 | #19 | #20 | #21 | #22 | #23 | #24 | #25 | #26 | #27 | #28 | #29 | #30

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