How do’s folks..Spinforth here, but only briefly to hastily write up this week’s Scoured track intro’s, and then swiftly hand you all over to Fat Harry, who’s very kindly stepped up to write the main blog blurb, for both me and you this week..cause I’ve had a funkin shockingly busy week at work, and am already half asleep! Cheers for this pard..you’ve saved my bacon once again, and..whilst at the time of my writing this little bit I’ve absolutely no idea what you’re going to write about..I’m very sure it’s more of the usual pure comedy genius, and of course, I’ve no doubt whatsoever you’ve definitely not not landed me in it..at all!!?
Sooo..without further ado..here’s Harry!
Cheers Spin’..Hmmm, not landed you in it? Lulz, it wasn’t until last night when you asked if I’d done the blurb that I remembered a very sketchy conversation we had around 4am at The Monster Ball (Big Ups Nik Read, thanks for having us) …didn’t you say something about…..‘drum roll’…..a new girlfriend?…..‘Ta Daaaaa’…..!!
Good God man, you know your own Scour rules! The soundcloud scour can only be written by sad, broken-down types with no life outside of music, beans on toast, and chocolate milk! You can’t break the scour code, time will start going backwards or something. I should know, ever since the Travis escaping, navel gazing, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 self harming of Scour #17 my love life has been somewhat stymied. Whilst we’re on that subject, after all the broken hearted skulking around and whotnot I thought I’d: a) ‘get a bit of a grip’ and b) ‘use logic and intelligence, and – dammit – be a bit pro-active in remedying my situation’. I happened to have an excellent weekend staying at my cousins and not only was he waxing lyrical about the many plus points of internet dating, he was able to offer first hand success stories of his own. Intrigued and encouraged I spent, ooooh, about a week researching and evaluating all the possible dating option sites available to me, with knowledge gleaned and all the facts in hand I totally ignored them and put my credit card details into the site that looked the muckiest.
I was harried and spammed by ladies called things like ‘BigNbubbins4U’, ‘Wetnsexyn60’ and ‘DirtySausageGuzzler_77’ Were they real? Did it matter? As big hearted and broad minded as I consider myself, miss WetnSexyn60 was probably a step too far, even for me. Two weeks of incessant emails-linked-to-phone bombardment and I got a real reply, from a real, normal looking, normal sounding femal, living not far away from me with a big disclaimer at the top saying DO NOT ASK ME FOR SEX. Let’s not be coy, I was aware of the type of site I had joined up to (unless there are actual people who like guzzling 77 dirty sausages?) but this was a no sex deal and so what, I was free and single and was using logic and intelligence..remember? So I replied, and we arranged to meet. On the day in question I thought I should do a bit of homework and check her full profile out, which reiterated the do not ask me for sex thing – check. Then went on to list all the things I could ask for. Good Lord. I had to look up BDSM in the urban dictionary, in fact I had to find a BDSM dictionary and work backwards through various bizarre acronyms to see what I had actually got myself into.
Have you ever seen the film ‘A man called horse‘? Well, that was me, except I wasn’t captured by Indians. I was nipple clamped (very owwwww!) blindfolded and strung up with a load of clothes pegs attached to various parts of my anatomy. I was whipped, lightly beaten, gagged, poked, smacked with a paddle, beaten some more, tied up, tied up more, then really, really tied up and strapped down to a trestle table with a mirror above me so I could admire the way I looked like a big fat joint of ham. Did I want anal? Did I f*#k!”Nmmmpffh” I replied, which thankfully came across in the negative, as apart from squeezing-really-hard there would have been no way to prevent any intrusions, trussed up as I was.
Older, wiser and with very sore nipples I deleted my subscription and have gone back to old school relationships. Which is why I have the time at 2am to spend three hours writing a last minute soundcloud scour blurb.
Before I hand you back to Mr Lover man
Shabbaforth..excuse me..Spinforth, could I just big up the man Krafty Kuts who’ll be launching his new album ‘Let’s Ride’ this Saturday at Cable in London, and who’ll be in Cornwall with A.Skillz and Featurecast (and us) >>HERE<< next Saturday. Would be amazing to see you there. Online tickets can be purchased right >>HERE<< .
Over to you for the intro’s pard…
Ahh..cheers pard, you’re a bloody legend..and I trust your blurb writing explicitly, so I’ll get this posted up ASAP, and enjoy reading that later! Hope no books escaped! 😉
Here we go with the fruits of Scour #38 folks…
If you have a tune that you would like considered for support via a forthcoming Scour, please email Spinforth at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Opening up this week’s Scour with a top notch re-dub that was first posted up by the legendary Freddie Cruger (aka Red Astaire) a couple of weeks back. Unfortunately (and unsurprisingly) his downloads maxed out super quick, and we’re banking on lots of you having missed this gem in the process. Fear not, by the power of Scour Mr Cruger has very kindly re-upped this for your ears, and will hopefully be adding an alternative DL link to it’s description for you all soon too (or perhaps even upgrading his account). Don’t sleep on this..it’s absolutely gorgeous, and all three of we at HKPP absolute love it! 71bpm ▼
Bob Marley “Changes R” Red Astaire ReDub by Freddie Cruger
Last supported in my recent World Record thumb scoring Scour #36 (158..get in! Still can’t believe it!), let’s all welcome Austria’s Mr B.visible back to the Scour, with another of his brilliant and bloody beautiful glitchobbly™ remixes. RJD2‘s ‘Charmed Life’ get’s the B.Visible treatment this week. Charmed indeedy…and so so, so so, lush! 93bpm ▼
RJD2- Charmed Life (B.Visible RMX) / Proper Mixdown by b.visible
Just incase any of you missed his Scour debut in last weeks Scour #37, and/or failed to follow my advice about checking over on his cloud for other nuggets..allow me to re-introduce you to the work of Mr Del Gazeebo. Aha! I bet now your kicking yourselves for being without this banger for over a week! Well that’ll learn ya..I don’t write this nonsense completely for nothing you know..next time heed my Scour word!! But for now pleeeeease go show him some comment love again, and maybe give him a faceboink ‘like’ right >>HERE<<, and in return I’ll do my very best to lure a future Scour exclusive from him! 😉
Alternative download link in SoundCloud track description. 95bpm ▼
Play Loaded (remastered) *Alternative download in description* by Del Gazeebo
‘There ain’t no such thing as halfway crooks’…but there are a shitload of remixes, mashups and blends of this next classic hiphop joint. Many are good..but not very many as funky fresh sounding as this version from Steely Chan. Great work again on this one dude. 100bpm ▼
Mobb Deep & Lefties Soul Connection – Shook Ones Chop It (Steely Chan’s Blender Mash) by Steely Chan
Bugger..last week I told you my ears didn’t really much dig the Moombahton sound, cause they found it a bit dull!? Errrmmm…exception #2 to my Moombah rule coming right up. Tasty pick from Morph here, looooooads of old school hiphop flavours Moombahtonized awesomely by the legendary Nickodemus. Right, now seriously..I have more than enough genre crates in my Serato already! No more exceptions..Okaaay? 108bpm ▼
A NEW YORK MINUTE (WILDSTYLE Bootleg Mix) by NickodemusNYC
TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK..MOOOOOOOO! Just listen up, very loudly! 108bpm ▼
Dynamite Cowbell – White Boy Cant Dance & Samplez. – FREE 320 DL by Samplez.
Next up..some pure an unadulterated filth from Dreadstemz! This may be a bit too dirty for some of your ears..but, I’m a firm believer in Persil’s catchy motto (umm..apparently ‘inspired by years of scientific study by child health experts’..WTF!!?)..“dirt is good”‘! Well at least it’s certainly nothing that a funkin good Scour can’t fix up for ya..so who am I to argue!? Alternative download link requested. 110bpm ▼
Dreadstemz – Voodoo (download) by Dreadstemz
Blimey! Enough of that for one Scour, let’s bring the funk right back..Bombastic Jam stylee (<<'like' that link if you don't already please)...via this brilliant Basement Freaks freebie! Loving this one fella..Welcome to The Scour! 112bpm ▼
Basement Freaks – Dont Phunk With My Phunk by Bombastic Jam
Followed straight up by some full fat classic funk..beefed right up by Pecoe. Done many times before I know..but this one’s a beaut! Ladies gonna love getting down to this! 120bpm ▼
Pecoe – Get Down Tonight by breakzlinkz
Note taking time please..when remixes like this next one land in my inbox..they get Scoured!! Especially so when, after a week, they have had no where near enough plays, downloads, ♥’s, or comments! Last supported way way way back in February’s Scour #5 time to re-check and show some fresh Scour love for Suspect/Mr Sus! Alright?? Now! 120bpm ▼
It’s Alright – FREE DOWNLOAD by Suspect / Mr Sus
Last up for this week (pre-curveball)..switching to mashed up D’n’B mode. Word on the Gothenburg street tells me that this tasty mashup goes down particularly nicely at lunchtime..errm..or more specifically at their local ‘Lunch Beat’ Parties. These sound amaaazing!! “On a normal working day, during lunch time, during one hour, Swedish people gather to have a sandwich and dance! Rules: People have to dance, and must dance! And no one can talk about work!” Genius..wouldn’t work at my work..all the students would get way too smashed to go back to their lectures, and would more than likely just use it as an excuse to start pre-loading for breakfast..and I don’t fancy my chances of getting much/any work work done in the afternoon either! Good use of Parker‘s excellent ‘Dr Dr’ here from DJ E-1000. 85/170bpm ▼
Parker – Dr Dr vs. Shirley Ellis – The Clapping Song (DJ E-1000 mashup) *FREE* by DJ E-1000
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